Forget The Amazonas, come to Singapore and Get Your Survival Training For Free!
Many people tried to point me at strange and mysterious things happening in the Singapore subway system, the MRT, asking for guidance, help and explanations.
I got old letters from long lost persons, asking for search troups to be sent out to the Green Line between Paya Leba and Kembangan and the latest rumor is that Steve Irwin actually faked his death, for being able to explore and categorize the Singaporean Subway areas in peace and unnoticed from the crowd.
What Is Going On Here?
For everyone who is about to set foot into the dangerous and challenging areas of the Singapore Subway system, BE WARNED and read below guide first!
I recently compiled the first species defining and explaining guide for the Singapore subway area.
Read the below six chapters first before starting your adventure…
Chapter One
Read everything about the common species of the “Pole Leaner”… Continue Reading
Chapter Two
The first real challenge will face you through “The Gatekeeper”… Continue reading
Chapter Three
When you need some time to recover from your wounds, the “Backpacker” is one of the smaller dangers… Continue Reading
Chapter Four
Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, “the Starrer” will attack you… Continue Reading
Chapter Five
During hours of silence and night “the Noisemaker” will be your darkest enemy… Continue Reading
Chapter Six
The Final Fight. Your ultimate battle and challenge of survival. “The Annoying Mass”… Continue Reading
Did You Survive It?
You went through the jungle and you found the exit? Good!
Let us know what your experienced in the Singapore subway system and If you share my point of view below in the Comments!
by an Asia experienced 26 year young expat living and surviving in Singapore since years!
Discovering new interesting and strange things everyday, he provides guides, news and tips for how to survive Singapore and how to best prepare for it.
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3 Comments for this post
Feb 22, 2009 at 11:19 pm
Haha – mate, I’m rolling on the floor with laughter. Very, very clever and witty.
I’ve experience each of these ‘unexplored species’ at one time or another (some of them on a daily basis).
I think there is one more you could add though – not so dangerous, but certainly annoying – the ‘Great Pretender’… the person who sits in the priority seat and immediately pretends to be sleeping the moment that a pregnant lady or elderly person enters the train.
PS: I love your use of the word ‘kiasu’ – I think it sums up the reasons behind many of the problems…
Also, I find that to overcome the ‘yellow line’ issue, it is quite often useful to employ the old ‘rugby’ skills that I learned in school… :D
Another one is the ‘100 metre sprinter’ – those that need to sprint to the elevator to beat the infirm or those in need (eg. those with walking sticks or pushing prams). They could out-run Ben Johnson in the Olympic event, but when confronted, complain that they are too ill or weak, or have an injury that requires them to use the elevator instead of the escalator (just a few metres away).
Feb 23, 2009 at 12:44 pm
I Love it, but you missed out on the Rush-hour reader. No matter how cramped the train, he still finds the space to have his newspaper open in front of him
Sep 3, 2009 at 4:12 pm
I think I am guilty of “pole-leaner”, “gate-keeper” and “noisemaker”. Since I travel from Bedok to Jurong from work to home everyday, it also means that I have to change my species type like from pole-leaner to gate-keeper or vice versa to suit the crowd needs. The most prominent species type I am is “noisemaker”, that is the only way I can drown out all the other annoying singaporean noises. Yes, call me selfish.
I would so give up the daily commute if I could, but sadly I am a peasant. :-(
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