Inspired by one of my favorite blogs YesButNoButYes, I decided to write about the daily battle of commuters that’s happening on Singapore’s streets. People need some serious training in coordination… like REALLY!This is amazing, just walking around in Singapore drives me Nuts! Find out Why!
Spread Your Flyers Somewhere Else
I’ve written about the aggressive and plain unprofessional and stupid methods of those people handing out their advertisement to passing people and how they majestically fail. Wonderful. (Why Private Space Is Worth Nothing In Singapore)
Standing in the middle of the sidewalk and pressing your flyer towards my chest without saying a word will get you a very aggressive Ang Moh stare, but nothing else. And two of you standing in my way trying to sell me some crap “Make-Instant-Billions-With-This-Shitty-FX-Trading-Software” will get a flexed shoulder against their chests!
Those people simply don’t understand that blocking 99% of the already too small sidewalks will make people annoyed, but not buy their products. Get some training, or better… another job! (Singapore’s Latest Street Scam)
As Slow As Possible
There are those who can not set one foot in front of another without having a tea break every step because they are in a wheel chair or old. No Problem. Can.
There are others who look relatively healthy and at least on the first sight not totally damaged in their brain, providing them with the god-given gift of .. WALKING. Not creeping, walking. That combination of movements your parents taught you when you were too little for getting my annoyed attention when blocking the whole sideway by trying to break the world record in “fewest distance traveled within 2 steps”. (Singapore Is Really Strange)
Jesus! You are young, you are fit, why do you walk like my grandfather after 10 heart strokes. Maybe you should consider getting a wheelchair in the first place. Can.
One After Another … Next To Each Other
“Sorry..may I?…uhm..ah..Almost.. Excuse Me?..Hmm..Yes! Can I PLEASE pass?”
Yes, we all have friends and we love to go out with them, and even if you ended up with some children of your own, yes, I still understand you want to go for some fresh air after spending the whole morning playing your drums next doors. Please do so! I beg you, then I can finally sleep!
But, there is something I myself call the “Exponential Rule Of Sidewalk Dividing“. And obviously that has not been arrived or understood yet in Singapore.
- Exponential Rule Of Sidewalk Dividing Explained:
- One Sidwalk = 100%
- One Sidewalk / 2 People (No matter if facing each other or passing by in the same direction) = 50% Sidewalk each
- One Sidewalk / you + 1 friend + Me (wanting to pass by or coming towards you) = 66% for you and your friend and 33% for me
- Now HERE comes the important part
One Sidewalk / You + 10 friends + Me = NOT 91% for you and your friends and 9% for me… this is wrong wrong wrong!!!
- One Sidewalk / You + 10 friends + Me = An appropriate amount of space for me that doesnt force me to step off the sidewalk and you and your linewalking friends have to split up (OH NO!!!) into two or more ROWS (not LINES) to pass me behind each other!
Continue With Part 2 Of Singapore’s Sidewalk Rules
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