1. That Cap Sits 3 Floors Too High
Lets start with the worst.
I don’t know what it is, where it came from and how the hell so many, preferable young teenagers walk Singapore’s street, with what seems to be a complete loss of even the slightest understanding for how not to make yourself look like a cone-headed idiot.
I’m talking about the unlucky appearance of formerly known “Baseball Caps” (that’s when I used to go to Hip Hop Jams and a plain black cap was considered decent and cool) that have transformed themselves into nothing less then brainless head-extensions “layed” on top of the poor persons scalp, rather then “put on”. What the hell? There are 20cm of space between your head and the caps top, may I slam it down?
Every time I see these guys, I wish either for a light blast of wind or everyone around me starting to laugh and point their fingers at them. Serious, get yourself a mirror.
2. Singlets – Everywhere
Its one thing wearing singlets playing Soccer at the beach, running in the gym, sitting on a diving boat or playing Basketball at the Community Center…
As you may have noticed, 100% (I repeat.. One Hundred Percent) of the above mentioned situations are Sports related. Sports Sports Sports. There is no way you can find a “restaurant” or “evening at the opera” or “dinner with friends” anywhere between those lines.
If people argue that its hot in Singapore, yes, I agree, its also hot in Australia and during August in Moscow but besides a pejorative smile you wouldn’t earn anything from the people, not to speak of entry into any place of public interest, with that white singlet on.
3. Crocs – One Word – Hell
Many times I cursed the person who came up with the idea that it might be trendy to wear freaking plastic sandals instead of shoes that make your feet look sick with neon colored Elefantiasis.
I mean people, if you stand in a crowd of people dressed with “normal” clothes and proper shoes on, and then you look down and you see a pink block of plastic around your feet, topped with a Micky Mouse or Singapore-Flag pin screaming “Ridiculous!!” , don’t you get the feeling that something might be wrong?
Again, I understand the argument of “Comfort” and “Convenience” but..hold on, you also don’t run around naked because that would mean you wouldn’t have to unzip your pants at the toilet, right? Give way in the name of humanity and leave those crocs in your shoe rack.
4. Pastel Colors – Yeah, For My Granny!
The first day I walked skin deep sun blocked around Singapore’s street, I was shocked because I thought 95% of Singapore’s population are above 75 years old and the state has a serious problem in regards to not becoming extinct.
Well, the later confirmed itself to be true anyways, but all those 75 year old suspects turned out to be just young people with their “fashion mind” having aged 4 times the normal speed.
Usually there are always two kind of shops in the malls, the ones that play decent piano or jazz music and sell, well, pastel colored clothes. And those that have freaking soundblasters and let you get color blind by just looking into their windows.
Yes, those later ones are meant for everyone below that age where you start to smoke cigars and clean your car every alternate Saturday.
Don’t wear pastel colored clothes, please, you will have time enough… later!
5. Little Miss What? – That Must Have Been Before My Time
So once and for all, to all the Miss Confused, Miss Crazy, Miss Snuggle and Miss Crack Head, those T-Shirts were supposed to get burned during the last big fire, unfortunately one survived and made it through the centuries until its reappearance on todays shopping mall rackets.
They are OUT-DATED. Please don’t wear them anymore because no-one believes you anyway if your Tshirt says, little Miss Naughty-I-Shyly-Run-Away-When-You-Ask-Me-For-My-Number-And-Tell-My-Dad…
PS. Yes, you get them almost for free, and 10 for 1 every where now, but that must have some underlying reason, right? Think about it..
What Drives You Mad?
Talk to me and write down in the comments below what you believe is the worst thing walking Singapore’s streets in regards to fashion failures and stylish self-destruction?