The 5 Worst Fashion Failures In Singapore

Have you ever walked the streets of Singapore, watching out for not existing Chewing Gum spots on the floor, innocently walking past the tissue selling uncle and doing the left-right-slow-quick game to stay in line with the completely unpredictable path of the people moving around you, and then suddenly stopping in a moment of awful embarrassment for the person that just walked pass you? I did…

1. That Cap Sits 3 Floors Too High

Lets start with the worst.

I don’t know what it is, where it came from and how the hell so many, preferable young teenagers walk Singapore’s street, with what seems to be a complete loss of even the slightest understanding for how not to make yourself look like a cone-headed idiot.

I’m talking about the unlucky appearance of formerly known “Baseball Caps” (that’s when I used to go to Hip Hop Jams and a plain black cap was considered decent and cool) that have transformed themselves into nothing less then brainless head-extensions “layed” on top of the poor persons scalp, rather then “put on”. What the hell? There are 20cm of space between your head and the caps top, may I slam it down?

Every time I see these guys, I wish either for a light blast of wind or everyone around me starting to laugh and point their fingers at them. Serious, get yourself a mirror.

2. Singlets – Everywhere

Its one thing wearing singlets playing Soccer at the beach, running in the gym, sitting on a diving boat or playing Basketball at the Community Center…

But..

As you may have noticed, 100% (I repeat.. One Hundred Percent) of the above mentioned situations are Sports related. Sports Sports Sports. There is no way you can find a “restaurant” or “evening at the opera” or “dinner with friends” anywhere between those lines.

If people argue that its hot in Singapore, yes, I agree, its also hot in Australia and during August in Moscow but besides a pejorative smile you wouldn’t earn anything from the people, not to speak of entry into any place of public interest, with that white singlet on.

3. Crocs – One Word – Hell

Many times I cursed the person who came up with the idea that it might be trendy to wear freaking plastic sandals instead of shoes that make your feet look sick with neon colored Elefantiasis.

I mean people, if you stand in a crowd of people dressed with “normal” clothes and proper shoes on, and then you look down and you see a pink block of plastic around your feet, topped with a Micky Mouse or Singapore-Flag pin screaming “Ridiculous!!” , don’t you get the feeling that something might be wrong?

Again, I understand the argument of “Comfort” and “Convenience” but..hold on, you also don’t run around naked because that would mean you wouldn’t have to unzip your pants at the toilet, right? Give way in the name of humanity and leave those crocs in your shoe rack.

4. Pastel Colors – Yeah, For My Granny!

The first day I walked skin deep sun blocked around Singapore’s street, I was shocked because I thought 95% of Singapore’s population are above 75 years old and the state has a serious problem in regards to not becoming extinct.

Well, the later confirmed itself to be true anyways, but all those 75 year old suspects turned out to be just young people with their “fashion mind” having aged 4 times the normal speed.

Usually there are always two kind of shops in the malls, the ones that play decent piano or jazz music and sell, well, pastel colored clothes. And those that have freaking soundblasters and let you get color blind by just looking into their windows.
Yes, those later ones are meant for everyone below that age where you start to smoke cigars and clean your car every alternate Saturday.

Don’t wear pastel colored clothes, please, you will have time enough… later!

5. Little Miss What? – That Must Have Been Before My Time

So once and for all, to all the Miss Confused, Miss Crazy, Miss Snuggle and Miss Crack Head, those T-Shirts were supposed to get burned during the last big fire, unfortunately one survived and made it through the centuries until its reappearance on todays shopping mall rackets.

They are OUT-DATED. Please don’t wear them anymore because no-one believes you anyway if your Tshirt says, little Miss Naughty-I-Shyly-Run-Away-When-You-Ask-Me-For-My-Number-And-Tell-My-Dad…

PS. Yes, you get them almost for free, and 10 for 1 every where now, but that must have some underlying reason, right? Think about it..

Click HERE For the second part “5 More Terrible Fashion Failures In Singapore”

What Drives You Mad?

Talk to me and write down in the comments below what you believe is the worst thing walking Singapore’s streets in regards to fashion failures and stylish self-destruction?

comments

27 Comments

tricia

i agree with you on the crocs, it looks like those shoes wear by crowns.

Tamy

Hey, I totally agree with you, especially about no. 1 & 4!!! Hahaha! I’m glad these ‘fashion failures’are not any that I am guilty of!! To me, crocs are only nice and cute when they are ‘mini’, as in worn by kids below 4yrs old! Another thing to add on, which I personally think is a total fashion failure is ‘showing butt crack’! *Gross* Actually, there are quite alot more to be named..

L

Alas, crocs are an international phenomena and not just a Singaporean fashion trend. They are universally ugly.

N

My biggest fashion peeves are guys wearing v-neck t-shirts, cardigans and skinny jeans. I’d love to meet the guy who started this trend, just so I can give him an a** whooping! Com’on guys! Dress and act like MEN!

Grace

Hello N! I agree with you! I don’t understand the phenomenon of men showing off their skinny legs! They look like they can’t breathe in the skinnies!

admin

lol, I’m always enlightened how people are posting my spelling mistakes in the comments… common guys, I know your secret wish is to be a teacher… but lets stay on the topic :)

Tamy

just came back from holiday trip to Hong Kong and realised that #1 fashion failure is pretty common there too.. just not sure if it’s the Hongkongers / China Chinese…???

L.

I think Crocs looks like MacDonald’s shoes haha.
But heard they are super comfy.

Ro

Top of my list are the mini running shorts that sometimes go together with the singlets. Those that when you sit down they slid up to the point you can nearly see where the legs ends. It’s specially gross in old uncles sleeping on the bus and in men with hairless legs. Yet another sport outfit exported to the streets. Something that kind of hurts my eyes also is the view of the proud non-fake LV owners walk around the malls with tank tops and flip flops. Are they trying to make the look elegant just with the bag that cost them a full months pay? Agree on the 3 floors high cap 100%. SLAM!

Adrian

The caps are annoying yes…what about popped collars on Polo-Ts? Feel like just ripping the damm things off.

C0rdelia

Crocs are only acceptable on children. But I bloody loathe those things. Can you believe people in my office actually wear crocs!! :-( The Shame!! Neon orange to boot!

Binge Drinker

Singlets on woman (aka tank top) are not that bad if they are young and you are a young guy looking at them. As Garrison Keilor said this summer: “…they are made to disturb men”.
Worn by men, I would say you have to be the BEST looking athletic hunk to get away with it, and not smell and be friendly, polite and not in your face.

Greg

Come on people . This is how the society works today . This is how the teenagers dresses nowadays. It is considered ‘modern’ amongst the young adults and that is the group they want to impress . So why would they care about what you adults think ?

Anon

Haha I never clicked about the pastels and why youth fashion looked so weird, having had to dress that way myself when I was young! That makes sense now.

I’m not sure about its full extent in Singapore, but like crocs, the “little miss” is also international (in fashion for about a week) – some person’s idea of reviving a retro brand.

bedduin

LOL
All these people telling others what they should wear.
My statement speaks for itself

Felicity wish

I have to say as a female the one “fashion faux pas” by girls here is that dame hair band around there forehead!!! its like so 1970’s lasted 1 season whenever it came back in fashion I am not really sure it did or took off anywhere else in the world. It looks like a elastic band around your head…take it off stop buying them come on so last erm century you look dumb and so not a fasion statment!! and yes them dam caps FFS put it on or take it off your hair looks crap anyway!!

Felicity wish

Croc’s are gardening shoes…why would u want to wear them…I mean who has a garden here hahaha too funny! “the copy cat nation that is Singapore” of the “fashion faux pas”

matta

Singapore male work attire…just sit down one day and count how many men walk past in ‘black pants and white shirt’!!!!

Or even worse, “black pants and white short sleeve shirt”

Oh yeah, and you can never spend more than $50 on a pair of shoes.

moon

i agree with all except i dun get no.4, the pastels thing, can anyone explain? lolz… cuz i hav no prob with colors as long as u look gd in them.

Il Mango di Treviso

Singaporeans have no sense of fashion. The way they dress is a daily eyesore.Then again not exactly an international first world city…. Only very tacky and provincial.

Raz

Hey dude! get a life!! u hv no freaking right to criticise on others way of dressing…Why not u post a pic of urself here and show everyone how cool and nice u dress up. i think u looks uglier than any of them u criticised…Get a life! u are living in my country, u are living in SINGAPORE, u are livin in OUR COUNTRY, so u shut ur bloody mouth! if u hv alot to criticise abt Spore and Spore is so bad in your eyes, then why not JUST LEAVE AND GO BACK TO YOUR COUNTRY DUD!!

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