1. Don’t Step in First if you will get off First
As usual when there’s something I gotta get my mouth dirty about in Singapore there is one thing involved… Kiasu-ness. But seriously, what is so great about being first in the elevator if you only will have to fight your way through the crowded cabin again because you are the first to get off only 1 Level up and later. Stepping on people’s feet and bumb your fucking bag against others, was it worth that? Please “think” (that thing where you decide if something is stupid or not) before you enter the elevator
Must Read: 5 Things in Singapore that still drive me Nuts!
2. Do Not EVER take the lift for 1 f*** Floor!
I’m getting so pissed when the elevator stops at the 43rd floor, some idiot comes in, and presses.. You got it right.. The shiny button for the 44th FLOOR! WTF!!! Same goes for those people taking the lift from the MRT train level to the ground level. Sometimes walking longer to get to the lift entry then it would be to the escalator. Man.. I’m dying here.
3. You are not retarded, are you? ARE YOU?
So its Monday morning, the lift is empty and I step in, with me some other guy. The lift door closes, we go up. After about 5 seconds that person starts to “shake” his head frantically and without warning. Chack – Booom, left right, left right. Yeah, that would be alright if you are home or at the massage parlor but dude, here, and like that.. You look pretty much retarded. Point.
4. Please Learn how to small talk
Its hilarious to hear locals trying to do small talk, or lets say, forced to try to do small talk because they are stuck in the elevator with a more or less stranger, they still know well enough not being able to ignore.
Its hilarious. As I said. I mentioned many times that the ability for being “Spontaneous” was more or less erased through the local population by providing a “too convenient” life without many “spontaneous situations” (just look at what happens when people drive car and suddenly something unexpected happens).. So yeah. Its funny.
5. Just make some space already!
If there are people behind you, and you yourself happen to stand just at the entry door of the elevator, and the elevator actually stops somewhere before your designated stop, then chances someone behind you wants to leave are pretty much 100%, and that would mean you would have to step aside, or in the worst case (I know you are extremely afraid the elevator will suddenly and with extreme speed close its doors) you will have to quickly step aside.
So don’t stand there like a tree. Pay attention.