Riding the Elevator Singapore Style – 5 Things that Piss me off

People in Singapore don’t speak up much. That’s good, sometimes, like when I spill my Kopi over the Hawker table. But much more.. it pisses me off. Like when one person forgets to step on the left side of the escalator, and the next person walking up just stops behind, where a short and polite reminder would get the whole flow going again, and instead clogs the whole thing.

singapore elevator sign

1. Don’t Step in First if you will get off First

As usual when there’s something I gotta get my mouth dirty about in Singapore there is one thing involved… Kiasu-ness. But seriously, what is so great about being first in the elevator if you only will have to fight your way through the crowded cabin again because you are the first to get off only 1 Level up and later. Stepping on people’s feet and bumb your fucking bag against others, was it worth that? Please “think” (that thing where you decide if something is stupid or not) before you enter the elevator

Must Read: 5 Things in Singapore that still drive me Nuts!

2. Do Not EVER take the lift for 1 f*** Floor!

That said of course only if you are not sitting in a wheelchair or are otherwise handicapped. Please? Are you 95 years old or what? Have your feet stopped working a minute ago or what?

I’m getting so pissed when the elevator stops at the 43rd floor, some idiot comes in, and presses.. You got it right.. The shiny button for the 44th FLOOR! WTF!!! Same goes for those people taking the lift from the MRT train level to the ground level. Sometimes walking longer to get to the lift entry then it would be to the escalator. Man.. I’m dying here.

3. You are not retarded, are you? ARE YOU?

So its Monday morning, the lift is empty and I step in, with me some other guy. The lift door closes, we go up. After about 5 seconds that person starts to “shake” his head frantically and without warning. Chack – Booom, left right, left right. Yeah, that would be alright if you are home or at the massage parlor but dude, here, and like that.. You look pretty much retarded. Point.

4. Please Learn how to small talk

Its hilarious to hear locals trying to do small talk, or lets say, forced to try to do small talk because they are stuck in the elevator with a more or less stranger, they still know well enough not being able to ignore.

Its hilarious. As I said. I mentioned many times that the ability for being “Spontaneous” was more or less erased through the local population by providing a “too convenient” life without many “spontaneous situations” (just look at what happens when people drive car and suddenly something unexpected happens).. So yeah. Its funny.

5. Just make some space already!

If there are people behind you, and you yourself happen to stand just at the entry door of the elevator, and the elevator actually stops somewhere before your designated stop, then chances someone behind you wants to leave are pretty much 100%, and that would mean you would have to step aside, or in the worst case (I know you are extremely afraid the elevator will suddenly and with extreme speed close its doors) you will have to quickly step aside.

So don’t stand there like a tree. Pay attention.

Must Read: Why Singapore “Excuse Me” doesnt mean “Sorry”

comments

15 Comments

Claire .J winkwink

6.When its PEAK hour and you’re queuing to go through the barriers to Beep through your Card into the MRT and the person in front of you , taps their card and they LAG for all of eternity like a 56kbs modem, while people are shoveling behind you to get a move on, BECAUSE they need 10seconds to decipher the cryptic code of numbers- they have 5.59 left on their card..MEH!

admin

hahahahahah… or the people who wait until the barriers are closed again before they tap their card!! ARG

Oli

Ah this is so true.
At work it makes me laugh when locals actually sneakily move themselves infront to get into the elevator first. Its an elevator. You aren’t going to get anywhere faster by pushing.

Danny

Most of these actually apply in the MRT as well, especially the last one.

And whenever I see people wait until the barriers close before tapping their card, I shout out in my mind “NOOOOB!!!”

rin

No.2 is such a pain…worst building policy close the exit stairs for security reasons?

Angry local

And it pisses me too – that an ang moh just pushed past me, thinking I’m clogging up the gateway, when I’ve a small 2.5 year old kid in front of me. The other lanes aren’t even crowded and it wasn’t even city area or peak hour.

Bugger was STILL swearing when his friend pointed out that my kid fell. So should I surmise that all ang mohs are like this?

Ray

The worst thing is when you are in the train using your phone and the auntie beside u have nth better to do and keep staring at your phone and thought that u won’t realize she is looking but u can clearly see that from your phones screen reflection …that always piss me off

Adam

The one that gets me is pushing the close door button before anybody has had a chance to get in or out.

kelly

Agree with most of your points! I am most irritated by YOUNG ppl who do not give way (or wait for the next lift) to those who need the lift more (eg. those with walking sticks, in wheelchairs, etc).

Robin

You got it right! About #2, I often take the MRT lift with my toddler in a stroller, and too often able-bodied people swarm in front of us, leaving no room in the lift. If they look out through the doors, I give them a hard stare. I can’t understand the phenomenon of cramming into the lift to go down one floor. Do you really enjoy feeling and smelling strangers that close to you!?! And when my Singaporean husband is with us, I actually have to calm him down because he has been known to (audibly) exclaim, “Unbelievable!” before the lift doors close. (Good for him!)

Reena

I get angry when people don’t press the open doors button when they see me coming and they just smash me or they close on my face. Also when there’s the typical uncle pressing the close doors button compulsively. Jezz!! relax!!

Allan

Yo! guys, just relax. How fast can you all go? Take your time, smell the flowers on the way. Life isn’t all about rushing and pushing each other down the cliff. You guys are all sucked in to the ‘system’… the endless ‘rat race’… getting piss off with each other, trying to run each other down… does it make sense? Just because of what? getting there in time? Don’t you think it’s a shame? next time you are in a mad rush hour rush just take your time and walk fast but not mad rush. Along the way try to look at people around… you will find them amazing… slowly you will start to pity them. By the way i’m local.

rosita leonoff

Hello,
Since a year ago, when my son arrived to Singapore for working at the JPMorgan, I enjoyed a lot all the info you offer. It was so useful many suggestions you offered !!! It seemed to be written specially for us…
It also helped me a lot to follow the steps of my son, considering we live so far from him, in Buenos Aires, Argentina.
Unfortunately, I realised that since a few months ago your messages are no more available in my account. I really miss them, so can you check why they don’t arrive anymore ??
I wil be very happy reading you again !!!
I remain waiting for your news…
Thanks a lot,
Rosita

Beccs

I have to say about #2 – I actually shove the stroller into the elevator doors to block them from closing and loudly pronounce that I need the elevator unlike most people in there and I am not moving until I can get inside. I refuse to allow everyone to shove past me and then expect me to wait for the next elevator. It usually takes about 30 seconds before people realize that I am serious!! It works every time with reluctance but maybe I’m slowly teaching people some courtesy!!!

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