Singapores subway system, the MRT, is more lively, interesting and exciting then ever before.
As I write this I finally found proof that besides species, targeting (and annoying) the subway terrain and its inhabits in general with their actions, there are smaller and more sophisticated species that try to impact and disturb you as an individual. Such as our today’s topic, The Starrer.
Presenting, The Starrer
The Starrer is, even though considered as a high-class-annoying species, unfortunately very common in today’s subway areas.
After intense research we are still not sure if the starrers behavior has an ancient origin buried inside his genes and therefore making him act out of reflex, or if it is a merely and simple portion of inconsiderate and very bad manners that lead him to do what he is doing…starring!
The Hidden One
The Starrer can live and move through crowds and other species totally unnoticed until he reveals his real intentions. It can have any form of human being, independent of any age, race, social group or gender.
Dont Wake Up The Starrer
The Starrers senses and actions get usually triggered by either one of the following two events:
- 1. Some other, uncommon and rare species enters the MRT area or gets spotted by the Starrer being inside already. Here the “uncommon” can be based on, appearance, clothes, smell, language, size or any other characteristic that is out of the norm
- 2. A “normal” species is causing an “unmoral” event or gets involved in an uncommon situation. This could mean just something simple like dropping a mobile phone till more sophisticated events like getting stuck in the MRT doors or peeing into a dustbin at the MRT exits
The Starrer Attacks
The difference between the “normal” species giving attention and The Starrer giving attention are the following, again based upon the two main events as described above.
- 1. Where the normal species acknowledges the appearance of the “uncommon” species more inside his head with some strange thoughts but keeps his eyes to the floor or just continues chatting like before, the Starrer will LOCK his eyes right onto the unfortunate person. If the starring should get disturbed, then only by some more interesting event or person which the locking will be changed onto then.
It is not uncommon for a Starrer to be observing and starring at two or even several other species at once. Those are usually the more experienced Starrers and once they spot you, there is definately no escaping them.
It is also very important to mention that The Starrer doesnt feels embarrassment (like normal species would) when the starred at object looks back, obviously having realized the starring. The starrer continues starring
- 2. Taking normal human behavior in count, The Starrer doesn’t behave normaly human. The common species, upon spotting some other species in need or help, would either call for someone who is able to help or if possible action himself to improve the other species situation.
The Starrer however has its own tool of help. Its the camera option of its mobile phone. Upon spotting any unfortunate situation the camera option gets activated and the happening gets recorded.
Uploading the result to
www.crap.sgwww.stomp.sg is then considered as number one priority before the thought of delivering help is able to reach the brain
Batteling The Starrer
After two years of gaining experience in handling and fighting the common Starrer there is only one option that (sometimes) works.
If you notice a Starrer is around you attacking friends, other innocent species or in the worst case yourself you have to be strong and very sure of your following actions. If not executed correctly or without the full amount of energy, your counter attack might very well end in a painful defeat.
If ready, continue reading:
- • Lift your head and turn it towards the direction of The Starrer
- • You will immediately experience the very tense and unhealthy feeling of being starred at
- • Now it gets dangerous. Stare BACK! Look The Starrer straight into the eyes and lock your starring
- • If you are batteling a unexperienced younger Starrer, it will hopefully quickly realize its behaviour and stop starring (although it is very common for The Starrer to start starring again short after) giving you at least a temporary break
- • If you however encounter one of the old sophisticated Starrers, you might get into trouble. The Eye-To-Eye starring might not affect or embarrass The Starrer at all. Now its up to you and your ability of Counter-Starring. The battle just began and I am wishing you the best!